It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
