we're blogging at a bar
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
