do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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