I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
