He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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