no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
