it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
