I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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