Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
