I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
