redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
