My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
