Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
