i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
