hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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