Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
