He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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