Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
