Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My vagina just recognized that song.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
