i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
