Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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