the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The struggles of a small town man whore
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
