Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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