Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The Olympian is in my bed
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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