I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
