It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
