i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize