last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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