I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
