I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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