i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
as a side note pls kill me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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