Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
