I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
