She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize