you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
