I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
