FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
