Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
