Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
