I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
