I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
