despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I want her autograph on my taint
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
