I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
