I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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