He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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