She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
only if we run a train.
done.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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