woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
