Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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