am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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