...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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