I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
