My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
