doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Never joke about your clitoris.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
