I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
