what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
